i've had enough of all this.
say what u wanna say.
i noe ya guys care for my parents.
but what about me??
the one going through it??
have u all thought about that?
yes u all may feel sad and dissapointed or even ashamed.
but me?
im feeling so many things at the same time.
i feel guilty,sad,worried,dissapointed,ashamed,angry and TIRED.
have any of u thought about that??
u say i look as if i dont care bout the situation.
but hey,im 16.
how am i suppose to show emotions like u guys?
i cant possibly mop at home all day and think of the situation.
or even cry or seek forgiveness like hell.
im stayin calm.
tryin not to stress myself about the situation.
cos i'll go mad!!!
but hey,
i do think about it.
and its not sometimes,
ALL THE TIME!!!!
i just dont show it.
dont u guys understand how i feel???
as much as u dun want it to happen,
i didnt want it too.
but maybe its a test for me.
and hell yeah im gonna prove to myself and u guys
that i can pull through.
stop picking on me.
i realised my mistake.
i noe its not easy.
but come on,
give me a chance to change.
if u didnt realise,
I AM BEING RESPONSIBLE.
and so is HE.
just give us a chance.
i will take care of the situation.
and please trust me,
i can change.
not thoroughly of course.
but for the sake of u noe who.
i cant change and be so good at once.
i'll change bit by bit.
but i still want to my right as a teenager.
the freedom.
dont take it away.
i mean dont take away all.
i know im at fault.
just so u dont understand,
I KNOW ITS MY FAULT.
but stop picking on me already.
i know what i should do.
but hey actually,
i dont even care bout what u guys think.
i only want my dearest parents to understand me.
and they have.
im so thankful to have such wonderful parents.
they gave me support.
unlike some of u.
i dont care.
i just love my parents totally.
thanks for giving me a chance.
i love u both.
and oh,about my future,
not to worry.
if all goes smoothly this year.
i'll be fine.
cos the rest of my plan is still goin the way i wanted it to.
cosmoprof.
so no diffrence.
just that,
im forkin out the money by myself.
okay.
im totally pissed off.
thank you.
